Today, my mom and I went down to Sycamore, IL to visit my dad’s grave (I have today off due to the 4th); he would be gone for 19 years as of July 6. I asked my mom if I could spend some time alone with him and told her to leave for a while until I’m done. Basically what I did was “talk” with him about what I’ve been (and still am) struggling with: pornography, smoking, questioning my orientation, afraid of not finding someone to share my life with, afraid of what will happen to my mom, and afraid of what my mom will think of/do to me if she were to find out/if I tell her that I might be bisexual. Obviously, I would have no idea what he would think of me with how I’ve turned out so far and what I’ve been struggling with. In the end, I guess it was good to tell him and get it off my chest, even if he’s been gone for a long time.
After Sycamore, my mom and I stopped in Rockford for lunch at a Chinese restaurant we used to order from when we lived there. We then stopped by a strip mall where she went to a Christian book store and I went to this used media store called Disc Replay. It’s a good-sized place with lots of DVDs, Blue Rays, Videogames, CDs, a few gaming systems, and some graphic novels and manga. Even though there was a lot of stuff to look through, I usually would just brows the CDs to see if I could get some albums really cheap (around $3). I ended up getting P.O.D.’s Satellite and Rush’s Roll the Bones. I haven’t listened to them all the way through yet, but I definitely will eventually.
Other than that, that was about it. Right now I’m laying on my bed pounding this out quick, and probably even get some writing done and add to a few stories I’ve already written. Haven’t done that in a while.