After hearing about what has happened recently with one of my friends, it got me thinking about my singleness. All my life I’ve been single; I’ve never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend considering I’m questioning), and I’ve loathed that. There was always this small hint of jealousy whenever I see a couple on campus, or anywhere for that matter, and I’ve always thought, “Am I not good enough to have a relationship with someone? Is there anything wrong with me?” You know, the self-entitlement stuff. I’ve had crushes in the past, sure, and I have a crush on Ben, but those feelings are somewhat dwindling and I don’t think about him in that way much anymore. I think this is the first time I’m thankful for my singleness.
From what I’ve heard and read, being single isn’t a “curse” as the rest of society likes to think it is. We are born single; sappy thoughts about someone we like like don’t happen until puberty hits, generally when we’re in middle school; some people stay single all their lives or most of their lives, whether by choice, lifestyle choices, or by happenstance. I have a couple cousins who are much older than me and are still single, though they’ve had relationships in the past; for them, it was just by happenstance from what I can tell. Some don’t mind being single for a long time, but most loath it. I used to feel this way towards my own singleness, but not so much lately because I’m trying not to put my all my focus towards finding someone.
Being single is a blessing in it of itself. It gives you time to figure your shit out and learn to take care of yourself. You can also learn a lot from observation, as in from other couples you know. You learn how to make them work, how to make them go sour, how to treat your partner, how to be good husband or wife, how to mend a relationship if it’s teetering on the edge of destruction, the list goes on and on. Along with that, you won’t have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with a relationship (I remember Josh telling me this one time); you just have to deal with all the bullshit that is yourself and, by extension, friends, family, and anyone else you care about and/or who cares about you. (These are people who you most likely won’t see on a daily basis. I know there are some exceptions, like roommates who you don’t socialize with at all, but you get the idea, I think).
That’s about all I have to say. Like I said, for once I’m thankful that I’m single. There’s a good book on singleness called Singles at the Crossroads by Albert Y. Hsu that goes into much more detail about singleness and how it’s also a blessing spiritually.