Things aren’t looking good, but that’s nothing new

Copy/pasted this from Facebook. It’s a note I recently posted about what’s been going on back home with my mom and our current living situation. I figured I’d share it here because…I guess there would be an off-chance someone could help me out here, or wherever else I share this post. I also didn’t want to directly link the Facebook post here either for privacy reasons.

Recently got off the phone with my mom; we’re at-risk of getting evicted. Unless my mom finds a new place to live, neither of us will have a home, and we have no idea what will happen if that were the case.

Obviously, this puts me in a tight spot as well, and I only have three options:

  1. Drop out of college entirely and try to help out my mom as much as I can.
  2. Take one or more off-semesters/years to help my mom and prolong getting my Bachelors.
  3. Continue with college for as long as I can and try to graduate. This would also mean having to try and make as much money as I can both on break and while I’m still attending.

Personally, I would go with option 3. I’ve just figured out what I want to do and what field I want my career to be. I want to get through the hard classes I have to take early on, as in Gen Chem I and II, and start taking classes/labs that are much more relevant to my emphasis, Zoology. Yes I want to graduate and get a job that kicks off a career, but I want it to mean something for me too. I want to be happy with the degree I graduated with.

I don’t want to go with option 2 because I don’t want to take 10+ years to get my degree; it’s also what my mom did and probably what many other people have done, and I’m not talking about getting a Masters or PhD. (Granted, I do want to go further than a Bachelors because Biology is a perfect field for that.)

Honestly, option 1 is a last resort. I don’t think I would be able to go back if I dropped out, and even if I could, it would be the long, painful process of re-enrolling.

I’m just waiting for something worse than eviction to happen, especially after what my mom’s been through. I know that means I would have to drop everything and, essentially, clean it all up until I’m able to go back to college. Part of this is worry, part of this is just me wanting to be done with this shit already.

Right now, I want to continue college because I want to try and make a better life for myself, and by extension, my mom. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse back home that I’m starting to consider getting my own place. At least that might take some burden off my mom and myself, though I don’t know how much. This I don’t want to overthink on, because I do that too much to begin with, and it easily leads to worrying about literally everything.

If you think that I don’t have a lot to worry about because of my age, or think that I seem angry or depressed all the time for no apparent reason, you just read a damn good reason. I didn’t even include my current frustrations with my Chemistry class or college in general.

Categories: Life Events, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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