It seems to have been a while since I wrote a general life update; the earliest I could find was back in August. Yes, it’s been over a month, but quite a lot can happen in that time. Well, for me, only a couple things, though both big changes.
One thing I’ve been long overdue for is a car; I finally have one now! No, it’s not a brand, spankin’ new Mustang or anything; I can’t afford that yet. It’s an ’05 Chevy Impala with only ~81K miles when I first got it. Of course, I had to finance it, but thankfully not for over $10K, which was my intention. Unfortunately, due to a few hiccups with the financing process, I had to get refinanced and am currently waiting to hear back from the dealer on when I can sign the papers. It’s been a very frustrating process and has caused a lot of my stress recently. Now that it’s hopefully nearing completion, I should be OK and just make sure I can make the payments each month however I can. Given that I had to finance only ~$7K and got a good payment plan with a good interest rate, this should get paid off in no time.
If you happen to follow my writing blog, I recently mentioned I’m submitting to an upcoming furry anthology that will be released around the middle of next year. You can read up on that as you please and, if you do, check out a couple of my stories on there. I’d really appreciate it!
Lastly, and this happened just over a week ago, me and Tyler broke up. I will not go into the finer details of why; I’m only willing to share information that with my closest friends. However, what I will mention is that me and him are going to stay friends. He’s told me time and time again that I’m the best friend he’s never had, and that’s all he really sees me as. I’m OK with this. However, I admit my feelings for him won’t be going away anytime soon. This isn’t the first time I had to suppress romantic feelings for one of my closest friends; they have the potential to permanently damage a perfectly good friendship.
Maybe I should’ve taken things slower; maybe he should’ve just said “no” and waited to get to know me better; maybe we screwed this up in one way or the other. Who knows? What I need to focus on now is taking care of myself and my mom, and not allowing these feelings for Tyler to take over and jeopardize another close friendship. Maybe we’ll get back together again sometime; maybe not. Again, who knows? Hell, I may end up with someone else in the near future.
But I don’t want to dwell on what could be or what could’ve been; I do too much of that emotional thinking already (though not a bad way to think when writing a story). Whenever I screw up with something, I try to learn from it and not do it again. Well, there’s definitely an important lesson learned with this breakup and thinking back on our relationship: Slow down. Think. Be patient. Relationships aren’t something to rush into, especially if you intend to marry that person later on, whether you’re LGBT or not. Love is such a complex concept that’s been discussed for centuries, be it through creative writing, movies, art, plays, religion, science, philosophy, ect. And yet…it seems like we still haven’t quite fully grasped the concept of love. I hope to achieve that goal as best as I can in my own life, and I hope to share that wisdom with others.
So…after that little ramble, I should probably wrap this up. It’s been a long few weeks for me, and it’s been difficult to keep my spirits high. But now that things are hopefully calming down for me right now, I’ll be able to write more and actually be invested in my writing. (I understand I should keep writing despite the process being boring or frustrating at times, but then there’s trying to write when you’re not quite emotionally stable because of life).
Anyway, I’ll see you guys next time I decide to write another life update or stream of conscious rambling.