Yes, you’ve read that right. Yes, it’s not December yet. Yes, I’m calling it early. After last weekend (as of writing this) I realized a new chapter in my life is about to begin, and it’s a big change that’s overall positive.
Before last weekend, however, me and Tyler broke up. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned anything on the blog about that or not. It wasn’t a bad breakup. There were issues on both sides and feelings weren’t mutual in the end, but we’re still friends. Yes, I was sad for a while afterwards; he will always hold a place in my heart. He’s told me that I’m the best friend he’s never had who understands him, and I can say the same thing about him.
Surprisingly, he’s happy that I found someone else before him; he’s expressed no hard feelings about it whatsoever. This someone else? Someone I’m not entirely surprised I got together with: Ben L. (or Aryot). We’ve been back and forth about our feelings for each other over the years, though it was because he was in a 3-year long relationship with someone else at the time and I wanted to respect that. Now that he’s single, now that I’m single, and now that we’ve spent some intimate time together last weekend…I think we can make this work. We’re both clingy, we both worry a lot (it shows we give a damn), we’re both creatives (him a musician, me a writer), we’re both passionate, and both of us have been gypped by life in the past in one way or another. We’ve also discussed living together in Platteville at his place, either when I go back in the Spring or after the Spring. Given how much I’ve grown and changed during my time at Platteville and how much I need to get out of my mom’s, this couldn’t have lined up any more perfectly.
Yes, planning on living together may sound like we’re going too fast. However, it most likely won’t be until the summer, plus I still have about a month or so until I go back to Platteville anyway. Also, while both of us want to take this slow, we’ve known each other for a couple years prior, unlike me and Tyler who only knew each other for a month before getting together. I just hope me and Ben can keep that fire for each other going, no matter what happens.
There’s a reason God put me in Platteville. I’ve grown so much in my faith, I’ve gained a better understanding of things, and I’ve made lifelong friendships. I guess it was only a matter of time before I found love, or love found me. Part of me worries I might be going against God’s plan for me getting together with Ben, yet I can’t help but think that it is part of God’s plan. He has an odd way of bringing good out of something that seems “wrong” or “evil.” Who knows? All I can do is go with the flow, know that He will guide me, and hope that I’m doing something right in the process.