March 17, 2017 (RANT)

This week…this week has been a mess and I’m glad it’s done and over with now. It goes without saying I never had much of a chance to really enjoy my Spring Break to relax and catch up on schoolwork. I did hang out with…one of my friends for not even a full day, and that’s about all the fun I had this week.

Why? Because I had to help my mom move all her shit from her apartment into a storage locker or my grandma’s trailer. A lot of this stuff she’s never sorted through at all or barely, and so much of my family has told her to go through it. We’ve also moved several times in the past, so it’s not like she didn’t have an opportunity to really get rid of shit she doesn’t need. Sometimes, I fear she’s a bit of a hoarder and is afraid to let things go. It’s sad and it sucks, but stuff piles up fast and it gets to point where you need to go through it before it gets worse and not add to the pile. It’s not bad right now, but it could be worse…a lot worse.

Because of this, the move took all week.

At the start of my break, she was still packing up the apartment, so I helped get high stuff or shift around already packed boxes, as well as little stuff here and there.

Monday was still more packing, but that’s when I hung out with my friend, Chris, down in Rockford; it was the only day this week that would work for him.

Tuesday through Thursday were the actual moving days. My uncle from Texas came up this week to help out as well, so me and him were hauling a bunch of shit from the apartment to the storage locker. Some of this was, in fact, my stuff too, but I’ve told my uncle and my mom that I will be taking care of it once I’m done with this semester.

I also told them I refuse to live in a single-wide trailer with my grandma, my mom, my grandma’s dog, and my mom’s cat. The single-bedroom apartment was cramped enough with packed boxes lying around from previous moves. I have a place in Platteville lined up, thanks to my friend, Ben L., which I will be living at once the semester’s over with. (I currently live in the dorms and they’re on a contract). Hell, I already have some of my stuff over there. Don’t worry, though, I will be looking for work to help with bills and rent; hopefully that’ll ease some of his financial strain.

Overall, I’m trying to get my life started. I’m 24, on the home stretch with college, and I’ll be living on my own really soon. I can’t exactly be around to help my mom maintain what her situation is right now; the only way I could do that is to drop out of college, work a shit job, and give her a portion of my paycheck to keep her afloat. Meanwhile, I see my friends graduating college, getting jobs in their fields, possibly finding a mate and/or getting married, and generally being successful and happy. The only way I can reach my goal now is to let go of my mom…

Honestly, she needs to start getting her own shit together, and it’s ultimately her responsibility. Myself and the rest of our family can only help her out so much…and I refuse to let myself get to where she’s at right now at her age.

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Categories: Life Events, Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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