Stepping back for a while

“You can check out anytime you like,
But you can never leave”

— “Hotel California” The Eagles

Hey guys…

As you may or may not know, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately regarding my involvement in the fandom. Between writing stories for either myself or commissioners, getting art for myself or for/from others, roleplaying, and general socializing, it’s starting to get too much for me right now. I’m currently in a very difficult position in my life right now, and I need to start prioritizing where and how I spend my time.

Overall, I’ve been struggling to establish myself financially. It’s only a matter of time before I’m no longer needed at my current job, as it was only a summer job at my college. For the past two and a half months, I’ve been helping with cleaning the dorms for the upcoming school year. By now, we’re at a point where it’s been touch-up work just to keep busy; the major cleaning has already been done for a couple weeks now. This means I need to find a job for, at least, this upcoming Fall semester while I finish up a couple classes I still need to take before I’m allowed to graduate.

I’m not taking enough credits for this semester to qualify for financial aid or to live in the dorms. I only wanted to take the minimum number of courses I need so I can finally graduate and start looking for work in my field; I don’t want to waste my time or GPA on ‘filler courses.’ I’m also sick of living in the dorms by this point, and that would only raise tuition costs.

While I am living off campus right now, living with my mom is not an option. She currently lives with my grandma in a single-wide trailer two hours from where I’m going to school. I don’t want to add more stress to either her or my grandma, or myself. The only reason I would live there or live closer, if I could, is to take care of my grandma; she’s the only grandparent I’ve come to know and love.

I won’t go into detail with how I feel about my mom; let’s just say I have…mixed feelings about her and how we ended up in the situation we’re in now.

I still don’t have all my stuff moved in from the storage locker my mom’s renting out, and I doubt she’ll be able to keep that for long; I don’t know if I’ll be able to save up enough to rent a truck to move my stuff out, and I’m almost afraid to ask friends for help because they live far from me or they’re struggling with things as well. Of course, I also have various bills and loans needing to be paid off, along with needing money for basic necessities. I can’t even afford to install and pay for Wi-Fi at my place either.

So, between figuring out how to live on my own and wanting to finish up college ASAP, I will have little to no time to be involved in the furry fandom. I’m truly sorry…but this is where I’m at in my life right now. I’ve never had a chance to settle, and I want to take that chance right now while it’s still within reach.

But I’m not planning on just disappearing out of the blue. I will still leave messaging channels open for private messaging, but I don’t think I can stay in group chats at this time. This isn’t target towards any specific group; I’m just speaking in general terms. If you ever want to get in touch with me, you can always send me a private message on whatever platform you have me on as a contact. If you don’t have me as a contact and never got chance to add me, ask around; you’ll most likely find someone who knows where I’m at online.

There are also a number of things I would like to finish up too. I still have a number of roleplaying logs I would like to post on the various furry art gallery sites I’m on, and there’s one, special story request I would like to finish as well (and it’s long overdue, which I feel terrible about). Aside from those, I can’t think of any other projects I want to finish up at this time.

I’ll still be active on the various furry sites I’m on as I usually am, and I’ll still post stories, art, etc. on those too. That won’t change.

I’m not going to open for story commissions either; as I’ve mentioned before, I have too much going on right now and I need to start prioritizing. However, I’ll admit, I have enjoyed writing them and it gives me a little bit of relief seeing that small financial boost. I also have a ko-fi, which I don’t advertise much; if you’d still like to give through that, there are links on almost all of my profiles, or you can copy/paste this link here –> ko-fi.com/rickyp This is simply a tipping service for content creators; unfortunately, I have yet to figure out what kind of rewards to give out for donors. (I’ll admit, I hate feeling like I need to give rewards for a tipping service that doesn’t even require it; that’s what Patreon is for.)

Regarding social media (such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.), I’m probably going to keep activity there to a minimum. However, again, I’m not opposed to keeping those around for messaging purposes.

Well…that about does it, I guess. I’m not “quitting the fandom” or anything like that; I love this community way too much to do something like that. I’m simply stepping back from it for a while. Who knows? This may only last a year, a few months, a few weeks, or a few days. But I’m in a rough spot in my life right now; I need to stay focus and realize what should take priority.

To those who may be “offended” about my decision about this, who think I’m stupid for feeling like I need to explain myself for stepping back, or who think I’m lying about my current life situation: I’m genuinely sorry you feel that way.

To those who’ve given me an amazing, interesting, weird, confusing, and awesome experience during my time in this fandom so far: Thank you.

Best wishes,
Ricky Paszek

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Categories: Life Events, Thoughts | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Stepping back for a while

  1. Robert Nieva

    That’s ok. Do what you must do to take care of business.

    Liked by 1 person

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