This week…this week has been a mess and I’m glad it’s done and over with now. It goes without saying I never had much of a chance to really enjoy my Spring Break to relax and catch up on schoolwork. I did hang out with…one of my friends for not even a full day, and that’s about all the fun I had this week.
Why? Because I had to help my mom move all her shit from her apartment into a storage locker or my grandma’s trailer. A lot of this stuff she’s never sorted through at all or barely, and so much of my family has told her to go through it. We’ve also moved several times in the past, so it’s not like she didn’t have an opportunity to really get rid of shit she doesn’t need. Sometimes, I fear she’s a bit of a hoarder and is afraid to let things go. It’s sad and it sucks, but stuff piles up fast and it gets to point where you need to go through it before it gets worse and not add to the pile. It’s not bad right now, but it could be worse…a lot worse.
Categories: Life Events, Thoughts
Tags: college, family, grandma, hoarding, life changes, March, mother, moving, packing, rant, Spring break, uncle
I’ve been feeling better and have gotten a chance to relax a little bit at work today; I pretty much had nothing to do all day, thankfully.
I’ve talked with my mom a little bit about everything too. She says she acknowledges that me and my boyfriend are in a relationship but still doesn’t approve of it; I’m fine with this, so long as she doesn’t harass me about it. I explained to her that I’ve been stressed about how my life is right now and that I feel stuck and have no purpose. She says she understands this. Continue reading
I pretty much copy/pasted this from my journal entries from a few art sites I’m on. I just really needed to get this all out; there’s so much that’s been going on with me lately. Continue reading
Categories: Life Events, Thoughts
Tags: anger, boyfriend, depression, husband, letting go, life, life story, mother, personal, September, son, stress, struggles, suicidal, update
Copy/pasted this from Facebook. It’s a note I recently posted about what’s been going on back home with my mom and our current living situation. I figured I’d share it here because…I guess there would be an off-chance someone could help me out here, or wherever else I share this post. I also didn’t want to directly link the Facebook post here either for privacy reasons.
I wanted to write something on this blog in particular, but I couldn’t think of anything with substance. College has been busy, and I’ve been very tired lately. Things have been going slow a little in my brain. So, to scratch that writing itch, I decided to tackle one of the prompts from The Daily Post. Continue reading
I can’t remember the last time I posted something on this blog…that or I simply didn’t bother to check, but I feel I should say something about what’s been happening with me, even though it may not be much. Continue reading
Today, my mom and I went down to Sycamore, IL to visit my dad’s grave (I have today off due to the 4th); he would be gone for 19 years as of July 6. I asked my mom if I could spend some time alone with him and told her to leave for a while until I’m done. Basically what I did was “talk” with him about what I’ve been (and still am) struggling with: pornography, smoking, questioning my orientation, afraid of not finding someone to share my life with, afraid of what will happen to my mom, and afraid of what my mom will think of/do to me if she were to find out/if I tell her that I might be bisexual. Obviously, I would have no idea what he would think of me with how I’ve turned out so far and what I’ve been struggling with. In the end, I guess it was good to tell him and get it off my chest, even if he’s been gone for a long time.
After Sycamore, my mom and I stopped in Rockford for lunch at a Chinese restaurant we used to order from when we lived there. We then stopped by a strip mall where she went to a Christian book store and I went to this used media store called Disc Replay. It’s a good-sized place with lots of DVDs, Blue Rays, Videogames, CDs, a few gaming systems, and some graphic novels and manga. Even though there was a lot of stuff to look through, I usually would just brows the CDs to see if I could get some albums really cheap (around $3). I ended up getting P.O.D.’s Satellite and Rush’s Roll the Bones. I haven’t listened to them all the way through yet, but I definitely will eventually.
Other than that, that was about it. Right now I’m laying on my bed pounding this out quick, and probably even get some writing done and add to a few stories I’ve already written. Haven’t done that in a while.
I recently randomly started looking through some of my old notebooks, usually kept as journals or poetry notebooks, when I came across this entry from almost three years ago: Continue reading
Not much has happened lately, aside from a few things. In general, I have no idea what’s going to happen this summer, but I’m sure there will be a lot of change, though I don’t know where or how it’ll happen. Continue reading
Categories: Life Events
Tags: change, driver's license, droplets, fear, health, help, job search, May, mother, nature, photo, photography, plant, rain, summer, summer job, surgery